


Dangerous Type

by nevercomestheday



Category: Chris Farley - Fandom, David Spade - Fandom, Saturday Night Live
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 10:22:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2106117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercomestheday/pseuds/nevercomestheday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David and Chris have some time to kill before read-through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous Type

**Author's Note:**

  * For [captainofthecity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainofthecity/gifts).



> This is only my second Sparley fic, but definitely not my first slash fic. I love this pairing so much, oh my goodness.

 

_This is taking too long. I hate traffic._ David sat and tapped his steering wheel. The radio was on, a low, muffled song playing. He sighed, rolled down his window, and craned his neck to see over the car in front of him. Squinting, he could make out a long line of cars, probably filled with equally disgruntled drivers. _Ah, great. At this rate, I'll be home by tomorrow night._ Twiddling his thumbs and shifting in his seat, he looked down at the dashboard. _I guess I could always listen to the radio..._ He turned up the volume on whatever station he'd left it on. _Ugh, when was I listening to this crap?_ He flipped the channel again. _When have I ever liked country? Is this really in my saved stations?_ David rolled his eyes, still turning the dial on the radio. Traffic had moved maybe fifteen feet.

"Geranium lover, I'm live on your wire/Come and take me, wherever you are," the radio sang.

_Is that...?_

"She's a lot like you/The dangerous type," Rick Ocasek whined. 

_Damn, I haven't heard that song in forever... The last time was probably at SNL, in our office with the radio on. What did Chris say? Something about girls... Oh, that's right..._

 

"She's a lot like you/Come on and hold me tight"

"'She's a lot like you?' Really? Isn't that like, the last thing any woman would ever want to hear? That they're like some other girl you know?"

"Man, I don't know. Forget girls right now, we have to go to read-through. Why did we come in here again? And why did you turn on the radio?"

"Because I knew it would take you a while to find what you're looking for."

"I don't even remember what I'm looking for! Do you?"

"I just remember you mentioning something about Hollywood Minute. Something like a list of topics?"

"Oh yeah, thanks. You wouldn't happen to know where I put that list, would you?" 

Chris smiled a mile wide. David had been ducking under his desk, not looking up at Chris even once. While he was so distracted, Chris  _had_ found the list. It was a neat little list on crisp yellow paper, folded into fourths very evenly and carefully. He stared at it in his hands, then suddenly remembered that he'd been asked a question. He slipped the list into his back pocket and cleared his throat. 

"Nope, sorry. Haven't seen it."

David stood up at once and looked at Chris suspiciously, eyeing him up and down 

and raising one eyebrow. 

"What?" Chris laughed, trying to look inconspicuous but somehow only managing to look more guilty.

"Really? You're gonna pull this routine? You're lucky we're early for once, or I'd be too rushed for this. But sure, I'll play along. You don't have it, fine. I'll just keep looking. Maybe stupid old David left it on your desk?"

Chris shuffled away from his desk, giggling. "Maybe. It could be there. Or maybe it's on the floor  _underneath_ my desk." He stifled another laugh as he watched his friend 

feign a groan. 

"All right, maybe it fell down here." David bent down to look. As he did, Chris ever-silently reached for a magazine on his chair and rolled it up. 

"Tsk tsk, Davey, you should know better than to lose your papers! You've been a naughty, naughty boy!" Before he had time to respond, David felt a hard  _smack!_ to his rear. He let out a phony yelp, and within the same breath, started laughing.

"Ahh! You're right, I'm a bad boy, punish me!" He was already panting and laughing so hard his face ached. Suddenly, he stopped and looked toward the door. "Is that closed? I can't see from here."

"Don't worry, I closed it behind me. But you know the penalty for talking out of turn, Davey!" Another  _smack!_ . "Besides, don't worry. We're an hour early, and you know everyone gets here late to everything anyway."

"Just one last thing, please."

"Ah ah ah, call me sir!"

"One more thing,  _sir._ What's the safe word?"

"Oh, sorry Davey." Chris dropped the tough act for a moment and thought. "Well, last time it was banana, but you didn't even use it. Can we just use banana again?"

"Yeah, that works. Okay, banana is the safe word."

"Okay. Now, get back down, boy!"

"Yes, sir." David tensed up in anticipation.  _Smack! Smack! Smack!_ "PLEASE SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?" he shouted. He clenched his teeth; that last one hurt a little. It hurt in the best way possible. He smiled a little as he waited for Chris to continue.

"You know what, this is too easy. You deserve some real punishment, not this flimsy excuse for a paddle. I bet I could do better with my hand." Chris slowly lifted his hand, building suspense. When he brought it down, he did so gently. "This isn't going to work either... I think you're going to have to, uh, take your pants off for this to really be an, uh, effective punishment."

David felt his face flush as he got to his feet. This wasn't the first time, nor the second, or even the third, but every time they did this, they both got so embarrassed at this point. It was like they could handle the jokey dom/sub thing, or the play-wrestling, but as soon as it came time for someone (or both of them) to get naked, they both became like nervous teenagers.

"Okay, but shouldn't you take yours off, too? You know, just to make things, uh, easier? Sir?" He bit his lip and smiled.

Now it was Chris's turn to blush. He looked down at the floor and shrugged. "Well, um, okay, good point." He had completely dropped the tough, dominant persona. He looked up at David for a moment, unintentionally making eyes at him. After what felt like way too long, he remembered what was going on. "Oh, uh, should we just put our clothes on the desk? I mean, I figured we might need the couch, and, well, you know."

David felt the knot in his stomach twist. "Yeah, that sounds fine." 

He pulled off his MTV t-shirt and tossed it onto the desk. He kicked his shoes over to the door, but one of them landed in a potted plant. 

"Nice one, ace."

"Really, Chris? Really?" David smirked. 

"I don't know." 

David laughed and took his jeans off, putting them by his shirt. Chris was still trying to get his left shoe off. He looked over at David and stopped. He was just standing there, half-naked, still in his socks and boxers, fiddling with the radio. He tapped his foot along to whatever was playing, Chris couldn't hear, and started humming. Chris smiled.

"You look good, Dave. Really good." he said quietly.

"Psh. Thanks, Chris. I have been working out, you know." He flexed and posed. "I figure I'll be as big as Schwarzenegger in a couple of weeks or so." He chuckled.

"No, really though." Chris giggled. He exhaled. "You look really good."

"So do you."

"No, no I don't. Look at me. I'm still fat, I'm still funny looking. I'm not cute."

"Come on, yes you are. Besides, haven't you lost like ten pounds in the past few weeks? You're doing great! You've been sober, you've been eating better, I'm proud of you! Besides, I've always thought you were attractive." David's voice trailed off a bit at the end, growing quieter as he got more serious. He was never good at the mushy stuff.

"Well, I'm still not slim, that's for sure. But I figure there's just more for you to love!" 

"Yeah, see? There you go. Now take off your pants, big guy."

Chris stumbled out of his trousers, almost tripping over himself twice and having to grab his chair to keep from falling over.

"I'm beginning to think not all of your pratfalls are actually pratfalls! Come here." 

Chris smiled and tossed his pants to the side of the room. He walked a few feet over to David, and picked him up in a bear hug. He looked into David's big blue eyes for a moment, hesitating. David laughed as Chris put him down on the couch. He sat down next to him, pulling him close with an arm around his waist.

"Come on, do I really have to be the one to start this time?" David said, half-joking.

Chris leaned in, touching David's nose with his own. "Nope."

He kissed David as though he was shipping off to war tomorrow- slow and deep, passionate and yet still gentle. David let a moan slip. Chris pulled away for a moment, looked up at David, and leaned back in to kiss his neck. 

"Chris, come on... Do you really think we have enough time? Because you've got me heading towards the point of no return here..." 

Chris looked back up. "Don't worry, it's only seven. Nobody's gonna be here til at least eight, and if anyone does come in early, it'll just be interns and writers. Nobody who'd want to bug us will be here."

"You sure? I don't want a repeat of last Tuesday night, when we thought we had enough time... Remember, and Sandler ended up almost walking in while you were-"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. But he didn't!"

"Only because you made it sound like you had a girl in here." David looked down.

"Well, technically speaking, I just said I was naked with company. That's true."

David sighed. "I guess. I don't know. We've been doing this for a few months now and it's still weird that nobody can know."

"Yeah, I know. I almost told Fred once. I was really fucking drunk, and I almost told him. I can't remember why I didn't."

"Wait, if you were drunk, it had to be before we started... you know."

"You can say it, Davey."

"Before we started seeing each other," David murmured under his breath.

"D'aww, Davey, you're so old-fashioned about it. Hey, wanna go steady?" Chris was starting to laugh now, which made David lose his focus even more and start laughing too.

"Chris, you're supposed to give me your class ring or something when you ask!"

There was a pause, as they sort of stopped laughing and looked at each other. 

"But you know," Chris said, "All joking aside, I love whatever it is we're doing. I, uh... I really do."

"So do I. I don't want to sound too weird, or corny, but I've never felt this way before."

Chris paused, debating whether to go back to joking or not. "I... Me neither."

Chris went back to kissing David's neck, and started to bite him a little.

"Hey, hey. No marks. No visible marks! That's like rule number one! Okay, number two. Number one is close the door."

"Soooorryyyyy!" Chris whined. He kissed David's neck one more time, and then paused again. "So... does that mean I can leave you a mark somewhere that's... not visible?" 

"Well, that depends... Where are you thinking?"

"Your collarbone? You know how much I like to bite it anyway..."

"Okay, just as long as you remember that it has to be somewhere my shirts cover... and as long as I can give you one."

"Deal." Chris immediately went back to kissing David, starting with his shoulder and working his way to his neck, then down to his collarbone. He started biting gently, testing to make sure David could handle it without getting hurt. 

"You can bite me harder, you know."

"I just don't want to hurt you..." Chris wasn't really paying attention. He was focused on the way David's body felt in his arms. He pulled David into his lap, facing him, and kissed his lips again. He was still kissing slowly, as if they had all the time in the world. David stopped him for a second and pulled away. He turned around to look at the clock.

"Shit, how is it already 7:30?" 

"Does this mean we can't?"

David sighed. "Well... can we be quick about it?" 

"Are you kidding? I'm sure we can." 

"Oh good, because I'm dying over here."

Chris looked down and laughed. "I can see!"

David blushed. "Oh please. Like you're not at full attention." 

"Yeah, well... That's your own fault."

"Just shut up so we can get on with it." David pulled Chris back in for a kiss, this time taking control for a bit. He kissed Chris hard, feverishly and hungrily, like he hadn't seen him in months. 

They both pulled away simultaneously and started trying to get their boxers off. 

"So... What do we have time for? The usual?" David was always so bad at talking about it. He liked  _doing_ it, just not so much  _saying_ it.

Chris laughed. "What exactly do you mean by 'the usual?'" 

"Please don't make me say it."

"No, really! We do something sort of different every time."

David realized he was right. "You know... Can we... Have sex? Or just... You know..." He was very quiet.

Chris smiled and rubbed David's shoulder. "It's okay Davey. Well, you know if sex is an option, I'm always gonna say yes. Do you need my help to get ready?"

"No, I think I can do it myself this time. Unless you want to?"

"Of course I want to." 

David laid down on the couch, lifted his legs up a bit, and looked up to Chris. He was so vulnerable, and they both knew they could only be this way with each other. Before Chris, David had never even imagined doing this, and before David, Chris thought he would never want to do it. It was still strange and a little awkward, but they were so comfortable with each other that they could laugh about it together. 

Chris leaned down onto David, kissing him softly as he slowly pushed a finger into him. He moved back and forth gently, and then added his second finger. He pulled away from the kiss, simultaneously removing his fingers, and looked David in the eye. 

"Are you ready?"

David nodded. "Don't forget protection." 

"I never do." Chris took a condom out from underneath the couch, thanking his lucky stars that they'd thought of putting a few there. He tore it open and rolled it on, looking up at the clock. 7:40. They still had a little time. Chris looked down at David and slowly pushed himself into his partner. He moaned as he leaned in to kiss David again. He started moving slowly, getting them both used to it. 

"Ahh, fuck..." David closed his eyes as Chris moved towards his neck, biting him gently as he moved gently in and out. Just as David was starting to get into things, he felt Chris wrap his hand around his manhood. He moved up and down at the same pace as he thrust into David, and as he did, they both began to breathe heavily and groan.

All the while, they followed a sort of pattern- Chris would kiss David's neck and bite his collarbone tenderly, he'd return to David's lips and they'd kiss for a bit, and then David would bite Chris's neck significantly harder than he was bitten. After a little while, David couldn't take it anymore.

"Chris," he breathed, "I'm... I'm really close..."

Chris half-spoke, half-moaned his response. "Mmm... So am I..."

Chris finished first by about five seconds, making one final thrust into David as he let slip a grunted "fuck." He kept pumping his hand around David until he felt his release 

all over his fingers and David's stomach. 

David struggled to catch his breath. "Holy... holy shit, that was incredible." He looked down and laughed. "I'm kind of a mess, though."

"Yeah, a hot mess." Chris immediately brought a hand up to his forehead. "That was stupid. But you're right, that was really great." He took off and tied the condom and reached for the box of tissues on the desk. He wrapped the condom in a couple of tissues and tossed it into the wastebasket, then turned to help David clean up. 

"Thanks, you don't have to do that though." 

Chris smiled. "But I like cleaning you up. Besides, I figure it's only fair, considering I'm the one who made you mess yourself."

"I guess you're right." David looked at Chris as they wiped the last of the "hot mess" off of his stomach. Before he realized what he was saying, the words came tumbling out of his mouth. "I love you."

Chris was hardly phased. "I love you, too. I'm glad you said it first. I wanted to a week or so ago, but I didn't want to say it and have you not be ready, or make it seem like I'm the only one moving things forward, I mean I'm the one who started everything in the first place, and, you know, I just-"

David laughed and cut him off, kissing him mid-sentence. "Don't ruin the moment."

"Shut up, Davey."

The radio played in the background as they kissed again. 

"Oh inside angel, always upset/Keeps on forgetting that we ever met..."

"Seriously? Again? Didn't they just play this?" David whined.

"Davey, that was like an hour and a half ago. Maybe more."

"Whatever, just kiss me before we have to get dressed and go to read-through. Bleh. Work."

 

"Can I bring you out in the light?/My curiosity's got me tonight..."

David sighed and tapped his steering wheel. Traffic was starting to lighten up; he could see that a few cars ahead of him, people were starting to actually drive. 

_Maybe I'll actually make it home before the sun goes down._

He looked out his window feeling a strange combination of melancholy and warmth. On one hand, that memory always made him smile, partly because it was such a wonderful evening, and partly because he was so happy during that time in his life. On the other hand, he wished desperately, day after day, that he could have Chris back. He wished he could share that memory with him, and laugh, and do it all over again. 

As he drove the last mile home, he looked up at the sky. The sun was just starting to set, turning the remaining clouds a milky orange-red. He sighed. He could practically hear Chris now. 

_Don't be so melodramatic, Davey. I'm fine._

_I love you,_ David thought.

_I love you, too. I'm so glad you haven't forgotten about me. You know, I wouldn't have forgotten about you, if it had been the other way around, even though I'm glad it wasn't, because that would really suck, to lose you like that, and I know it wouldn't have happened, unless you got hit by a car or something, and-_

_Don't ruin the moment._

_Shut up, Davey._

 

 


End file.
